You are the Dancing Queen
by Silverlight10243
Summary: When all hope appears to be lost, Naruto Uzumaki unleashes his trump card, the formidable MUSIC NO JUTSU. Despite his overuse of the word, 'dance', Madara is not the 'Dancing Queen' dammit! Why does everybody think so? And why the hell does Hashirama appear all interested now out of all times? One-shot. This is me harmlessly making fun of Madara repeating the word 'dance. R & R :)


**A/N: Dayuum, I simply couldn't get Madara's overuse of the word 'dance' out of my head, so here I am, mocking it XD Happy New Year Guys! If you're ever down, I hope this cheers you up a little! :)**

* * *

Desperation spread like wild fire amongst the hearts of the Shinobi Alliance, as they watched impotently when each of the tailed-beasts were restrained one by one through Madara's chakra chains. The murky clouds inhabiting the overcast sky gradually unfurled themselves, the sickly silhouette of the Gedo Mazo had it's terror augmented by the emerging moon, now devoid of it's last speck of life...

The end was near. The ambience of the battlefield reeked of it, moreover the shinobi's themselves were steadily suffocating in the contagious miasma of despair. It was true when people said the fastest spreading epidemic, was fear itself.

In the midst of the devastated debris, Naruto Uzumaki seemed to have regained his stance, preparing for one last, futile stand. Madara smirked diabolically as their eyes met, unperturbed at a challenge he knew he'd win.

"Damn you..." Naruto gazed determinedly at man. "**You shall not win!**"

"I'm afraid, that's not for you to decide, care to have one last dance with me?" The megalomaniacal madman grinned, the moonlight reflecting his nefarious complexion.

_That's it dattebayo! This jutsu shall eliminate him!_ Hope aroused within Naruto.

"**MUSIC NO JUTSU!**" The hyperactive, unpredictable knucklehead ninja bellowed on top of his voice.

Out of the blue emerged a rock band, playing the introduction of ABBA's song, Dancing Queen. Slowly, the Shinobi Alliance came to their feet and joined in the humming. Instantaneously, the lot of homicidal ninjas were transformed into a choir. An irritating, atrocious choir that would have horrified it's audience and have them demand a refund for their tickets- they sang utterly out of tune

"Oi you deranged lunatic, if you like dancing so much, I'll give you it dattebayo!" The blond ninja whipped out a scroll and summoned a microphone. Meanwhile the Gokage and Edo Hokages began occupying themselves by fashioning a temporary venue, with a stage grown using Hashirama's Mokuten, while Minato used his Hiraishin no Jutsu to teleport into a Disco Party somewhere in the remote, untouched Land of Waves (yes, ever since Gato was butchered, the place was prosperous, 'kay?) and snatch away a disco ball from displeased 'party people'.

Naruto glared at Madara as he started to sing his prologue, accompanied by the godawful choir of the Shinobi Alliance.

**"You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life...Oooo... See that girl..Watch that scene, diggin' the Dancing Queen."**

Fingers all across the battle field were directed at him, unable to suppress his vexation, Madara yelled: "I'm not a girl!"

Hashirama, gradually began to make his way towards his rival, beaming eagerly in the process, Naruto's distraction bought enough time for the others to help him remove those chakra rods imposed on him.

**"Friday night and the nights are low..."**

Madara backed down wearily,_ no this couldn't be..._

**"Looking out for a place to go..."**

_The legendary Music no Jutsu... No... Not this one... _Madara gulped as he collided with a couple of grooving fodder shinobi out of shock, who returned a wink at him.

**"Where they play the right music, getting in the swing, you gotta look for a king..."**

_Great, fantastic... _Madara mumbled to himself.

"Ahh crap! Maddie, maddie-chan, would you like a PROPER dance?" Hashirama bellowed buoyantly as the Uchiha 'accidentally' fell onto him. "What do you say huh? I'm sure Mito won't mind."

Madara spun around and glimpsed at a snickering Tobirama as well as the half-Black-Zetsu-possessed Obito who held out three fingers.

"Read between the lines, bitch, it's payback time!"

"Madara, are you listening?" Hashirama's eyes drooped, giving away his slightly disappointed and desponded demeanor.

**"Anybody can be that guy, night is young and the music's high…"**

** "Ah…'**

Without warning, Madara found himself spinning on his feet over and over while Hashirama seemingly took the lead in their dancing.

"Let's try tango, shall we Maddie-chan?"

"F*ck you…"

**"With a bit of rock music, everything is fine, you're in the mood for a dance, and when you get that chance…"**

The tailed beasts broke free from the chakra chains due to Madara's currently distracted mode.

**"You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet only 17, oh yeah!"**

His mind was in turmoil as pandemonium ensued amongst the Shinobi Alliance who bobbed up and down in excitement.

"You are the Dancing Queen baka yaro, kono yaro, suffer from our invincible Music no Jutsu you douche, baka yaro, kono yaro," the eight-tails jinchuriki rapped straight in his face, causing him to back away in need of personal space.

Kakashi Hatake blocked his way: "Madara, would you and your boyfriend like to request a special dining place in the Kamui dimension, I'd be more than happy to transport you two there…"

He ran. Hashirama followed.

He ran again. To little avail.

The Senju had caught him in his arms again and waltzed with Madara all the way to the Land of Earth as the haunting chorus of the Shinobi Alliance choir echoed in the distance, gradually blurring into oblivion.

**"You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life! Oooo… See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen!"**

Then they waltzed all the way back.

By then, Madara was exhausted and thoroughly traumatized. Despite his uncanny motives of transplanting Hashirama's face onto his chest, he was not gay dammit! Nor was he their so-called, Dancing Queen… He was referring to 'Dance' as in the surge of adrenaline in battle, a tinge of delight at having exchanged blows with an enemy—NOT having an obnoxious blond, loudmouthed jinchuriki singing into the mike and a Shinobi Alliance disastrously accompanying.

**Ending scenarios: you decide which one is most befitting.**

**Scenario 1:**

"Marry me Madara!" Hashirama's face shone romantically in the moonlight as the whispering winds caressed his long, luscious hair. The Senju knelt down and offered a bemused Madara a wedding ring made out of wood, evidently the man had crafted it last minute, for it was rather crude, it's edges rough and uneven. "We can dance forever, to eternity and beyond!"

"Very well…" Madara sighed, he sort-of missed the company of his 'bestfriend'.

"**Rinne-Tensei no jutsu!"**

Hence, the Fourth Shinobi World War was concluded by a wedding between two long-lost lovers— er… rivals? And Hashirama married for the second time in his life—not that he actually cared, Mito can go screw herself.

They live happily ever after.

**Scenario 2:**

Minato nudged Kakashi: "He's distracted, now's the chance!"

**"Kamui!"**

As a result, Madara Uchiha had his head ripped off and flung into an alternate dimension, no matter how great one's regenerative abilities were, being decapitated meant death (we're excluding Hidan's case; I don't recall Madara being a Jashinist). On the other hand, Hashirama Senju, being an Edo Tensei, regenerated in a matter of minutes.

"Ok Tobirama you BETTER let me have the deluxe lounge in the afterlife, on top of this I'd like to hog on the TV for as much as I want and some personal time with Mito in the Shiganami's restaurant. I risked my damn reputation and 'straight-hood' for the sake of the survival of the Shinobi World," Hashirama started a whole monologue of complaints, directed specifically at his younger brother: Tobirama Senju, who had devised the notorious plan in the first place.

**Scenario 3:**

Silence. Complete, utter, unadulterated silence.

Sasuke gazed warily at Naruto, Kakashi and the Edo Hokages: "I… think I might have overdone the Tsukyomi scenario a little bit…" He blurted out in the most un-Sasuke way possible.

"It's all right teme! Right old man, grandpa Sarutobi, Hashirama-dono, Tobirama-dono? I mean, all we said is that Madara needs to be traumatized enough to relinquish his control over the tailed-beasts, then we commence our attacks," Naruto looked at them for support. "Right then dattebayo…

** "Choodama Rasenshuriken!"**

** "Senpō: Mokuton: Shin Sūsenju!"**

** "Suiton: Suidanha!"**

Madara, who was still immersed in a state of confusion and involuntarily began to hum to the tune to the song 'Dancing Queen', was naturally unaware of the upcoming assaults. Therefore, the combined efforts of multiple shinobi's had indubitably reduced his body into a festered pile of muck.

The war was won, but not without a cost. Sasuke, having been the one to contrive the components of the Tsukyomi genjutsu, became an insomniac due to the haunting images of Naruto singing 'Dancing Queen' along with the Shinobi Alliance as his accompaniment relentlessly pestering and tormenting his mind.

Traumatized for life, poor boy.


End file.
